10 Things I Learned After Doing 300 Days of Self-Growth
Happiness is an inside job 🌈
When I started my daily growth newsletter BIG TALK: DAILY GROWTH, I had one intention in mind: to go through an inner journey of healing and connecting with my Higher Self, so that I can release my potential in the most authentic way.
I didn’t say it was a small intention! 👀
But after many years of writing and growing on my own, I thought I’d share this learning experience with others AND it has changed my life in multiple ways.
For one, I am able to express myself a lot more authentically & feel at peace with being different — standing out with my own unique individuality.
Secondly, I am no longer denying what I care about and I am actively looking to connect with like-minded people, so that we can collaborate together. This has disconnected me from a lot of friendships, but I understand that some connections end, so that new ones can begin!
As someone recently said to me, “Maybe you take it too personally that people don’t care about the same things as you.”
To which I’d now respond, “Why shouldn’t I?! We’re here for a brief period of time and we tend to waste it talking about the trivial stuff. I care about the BIG STUFF and I’d like to talk about them as much as I can — what better way to spend your time on Earth than pursuing what makes you happy and thrilled to be alive!”
That said, here are 10 things I learned from actively focusing on my self-growth for 300 days 🧘🏻♀️☀️
1. EVERYTHING STARTS WITH SELF-CARE!
The number one lesson is that everything starts with you and how you take care of yourself.
If you don’t take care of yourself in the pursuit of taking care of others, you will inevitably fail.
You can’t pour from an empty cup!
It’s not selfish to look after your needs first — don’t wait until you collapse to slow down and give yourself the much needed self-care.
The only way to achieve and maintain balance in your life is to start with your inner world, which includes your wellbeing on all 4 levels (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual).
Real self-growth happens when self-care rituals are part of your daily habits opposed to single “maintenance” appointments or days dedicated to yourself — those are the bonus steps. If your foundation is not strong enough, these bonus days will not do much in the long run.
2. FEELING & HONOURING YOUR EMOTIONS = STRENGTH
The real flex isn’t that no one can hurt you with their words or actions, but that you allow yourself to feel the hurt, so that you can create stronger boundaries to prevent the same people or people at the same level of maturity from having this much access to you in the future.
Think of it this way…
You are the person with whom you will spend your entire time on Earth.
Every single day you are together with yourself.
When you try to justify other people’s behaviours, instead of admitting “This person’s actions hurt me” or “This person never has anything positive to say to me or about me”, you are betraying and abandoning yourself, because you are choosing to back up someone else over your own truth of the situation.
In the long run, self-betrayal and self-abandonment cause more harm than other people betraying, abandoning or gaslighting you.
Why?
Because you will continue to choose to spend time around the type of people whose behaviour is likely to hurt you due to your own tendencies to not value yourself & your needs.
3. THOUGHTS CAN BE DECEPTIVE.
Your thoughts are not who you are. They are meant to be chaotic, random, unpredictable, occasionally brilliant, but most of all — in a state of constant motion.
Until you slow down, your thoughts won’t slow down or help you slow down. It’s up to you to become the master of your mind by taming your thoughts.
Thoughts can be useful, but they can be deceptive.
Before you run wild with a thought, investigate it. Write it down, think about it, make sense of it, accept it or move on from it!
The point is… your thoughts are not you.
Thoughts are there to help you understand what’s going on, internally and externally, so that you can act accordingly.
4. REAL VALIDATION COMES FROM WITHIN.
We often look forward to sharing what we’ve purchased, decided or achieved with others with the intention of “receiving approval”, instead of using our interactions as an opportunity to learn and celebrate together.
Friendships are a gift when they are supportive, understanding and empowering you to become a better version of yourself — or helping you to honour and respect yourself in a better way.
But when our connections only serve the function of validating our thoughts, feelings or actions, they become quite dysfunctional over time.
Why?
Spending time with people just so that you can give them an account of your days is like using them as your personal journal or therapist, especially when they are one-sided. It becomes emotionally draining if there’s no real growth or change, unless all that you’re looking to gain from connections is to “kill time”.
Self-growth is learning to value yourself and your time. Your inner circle can either give you a boost in time & energy, or steal it from you.
Life’s quite short — don’t make it shorter seeking the approval of others before you allow yourself to live authentically!
5. CREATIVITY NEEDS SPACE TO BREATHE AND BLOOM.
My levels of creativity increased 10x when I wholeheartedly dedicated myself to my calling to write and express my ideas.
This in turn brought even more ideas AND a lot faster too!
If the Universe is trusting you with ideas, you have two choices:
Choice 1: Listen and receive the ideas, then develop them!
Choice 2: Listen and ignore the ideas, then say goodbye to them!
There are many creative people in the world and some are more willing than others to work with the ideas being presented to them.
Success is not always about talent, it’s actually often about commitment and consistency.
If you’re a creative person and you’re scared to pursue the creative path, it’s likely that you’re battling with fear — remember that dreams don’t have an expiration date, but we as humans do.
6. FEAR IS AN INDICATION THAT YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT.
When you’re about to “level up”, the levels of your fear and stress might be on the rise too. This is all because you are about to experience something that you’ve not experienced before and your Ego knows it.
Your Ego would like you to stay in the comfort zone, so that you don’t get yourself embarassed. It’s all a plot to keep you stuck “playing it safe”, because the Ego cares more about appearances than authenticity.
If you listen to your Ego, you will never be comfortable in your own skin. There will always be a flaw to keep your head down.
Remember that we’re all here for a very short amount of time. Being humble is great, but if you’ve a skill or a talent to show, you better go out in the world and SHOW IT OFF like the world’s ending tomorrow (because you never know!).
7. DISTANCE CONNECTS YOU DEEPER WITH YOUR SOUL'S PURPOSE.
Inner work requires distance from the rest of the world.
The self-growth journey is multi-layered, but in order to uncover your own deepest layers, you need to take a step back from society.
It is during this hermit mode that you will reconnect with your Soul and go through your own personal evolution.
Connecting with your Higher Self is not a one-time occurrence. And once you’ve made the connection, it’s entirely up to you to keep that connection open by giving yourself space to listen to the voice within — your intuition.
When you are aligned with your Soul’s purpose, I guarantee you that you will not wish to go back to a previous lifestyle, because when you move and work in unison with your Higher Self, amazing things happen!
8. SLOWING DOWN IS ESSENTIAL TO LIVING IN THE PRESENT MOMENT.
The only way to live in the present moment is to build the habit of slowing down and calling your attention back to the NOW.
This is a habit that requires patience and persistence, but once you’re a pro at it, it’s like you’ve unlocked extra hours in the day ⏰✨
We spend many hours in overthinking & overthinking is bad!
How bad?
Overthinking steals:
Time
Energy
Productivity
Laughter
Opportunities
Connections
The only time that exists is the present moment. It’s what you make in the present moment AND how much you (can) remain in the present moment that will help you create a FUTURE that isn’t based on the PAST.
If you’re operating on autopilot, it’s very likely that you will keep re-creating the past and then wonder to yourself why are things never changing.
Change starts with you!
When you change, everything changes with you.
9. THE MORE YOU BECOME YOURSELF, THE MORE YOU DISCOVER MORE OF YOURSELF!
When I embarked on my self-growth journey, I didn’t realise that it will trigger a spiritual awakening.
I suppose every time you are inspired to become a greater version of yourself, it’s actually your Higher Self guiding you in the background — reminding you of your potential and encouraging you to believe in yourself.
In the process of my own personal evolution, I unlocked some new spiritual gifts and strengthened my connection to the Universe (or Source).
There’s literally “an infinity of potential” inside all of us if we are brave enough to go through the stages of the inner work.
The more you align with your authentic self, the more you “unlock” more of you that’s always been YOU without you knowing you had it in you! 👀
10. LOVE IS THE ANSWER.
When in doubt, move in alignment with love.
Forgive everyone, feel gratitude for everything, keep finding reasons to be in love with life.
We tend to over-complicate life, because we’ve been taught that everything good comes at a price, that we must work hard for our chance at happiness in this world.
In reality, you can have all the riches and still be miserable.
Happiness is an inside job.
Taking accountability for bringing joy into everything that you do and doing everything that brings you joy is as simple as it gets & it makes your life even more abundant that you can imagine 🌈
