#41
When we commit to self-improvement, we spend hours reading books, listening to podcast episodes, watching motivational talks, or obsessing over successful people who are already living the reality of our dreams.
What about the knowledge that’s already within us?
Reflection, meditation & journaling are all useful tools to uncover what’s already ours.
What about the people that are closest to us? What lessons did they teach us that still have an impact in our life today?
Our parents have had a crucial role to play in shaping our psyche, our internal identity.
And here’s where it gets interesting!
Some of the lessons we “learned” in the early years of our development were entirely through observation – the way our parents talked to each other and other people, the way they used words to take accountability or blame one another, the way they communicated their pain, fears and hopes, or hid them altogether, to name a few examples.
What’s a toddler’s biggest skill? To copy and replicate everything they see and hear, good or bad, without any judgment whatsoever.
So what we’re witnessing in the world today are a lot of grown-ups who have been copying behaviour patterns since they were toddlers. Why? Because they don’t know any better.
Until you make the conscious decision to look within to understand who you are & who you’ve become, you will continue to replicate behaviour that is familiar to you, because you’ve been doing it all of your life.
Familiarity, unfortunately, is not synonymous with authenticity. But such is the power of the comfort zone – it keeps us in a loop of repetitive behaviour until we say “enough”.
Whatever it is that you learned from your parents, ask yourself this one question:
What parts of my upbringing do I want to share with my children?
When you find the stories that you hold close to your heart, you will find the lessons that have had the biggest positive impact on your identity. These are most likely the lessons that taught you how to be more yourself (your authentic self) in the way you think, feel, and act.
