#95
This might be an obvious question, but helping people and asking for help from them are not necessarily skills that we acquire at the same time or at the same level.
We might be the biggest giver when it comes to helping others, but totally oblivious when it comes to our own needs. Or vice versa, we might be comfortable sharing our responsibilities with others but never feel called to extend a helping hand to those around us.
Why?
Because help requires communication – a signal. That’s why we say “a cry for help”.
Some people are visual learners and they would pick up on social cues that suggest the other person needs help even if they are not explicitly saying so. Typically, these visual learners are great listeners and have increased capacity for empathy.
Other people, however, cannot pick up on the social cues and need to hear the exact words “I need help” or “Can you help me with…” before they can act in a supportive way.
The first step is knowing that you have the option to ask for help. The second is using your voice to speak it out loud.
It took me years to figure out that just because something is obvious to me, it does not mean that it’s obvious to someone else. Learning to communicate your needs can be scary, but it frees so much more space for the solutions, so that the problems don’t become silent battles that overpower you in your own head.
