3 Signs Someone’s Emotionally Manipulating You
Emotional manipulation is a form of toxic relationship dynamic that develops between narcissists and empaths.
Narcissists like to insert dominance in interactions, even though they are, in fact, playing the role of the “child” in every relationship, because they demand love and attention 24/7 without equal give and take.
Empaths become the submissive friend or partner in connections, even though they are in the role of the “parent” in every relationship, because they offer love and attention 24/7 without expecting anything in return.
The “Narcissist + Empath” dance only works if you choose to participate. The moment you become balanced on your own, the music stops and the show’s over.
Until then, the mind games continue!
Here are 3 common signs you’re dealing with a person who has narcissistic tendencies.
1. YOU FEEL "OBSESSED" WITH SOMEONE
One of the biggest indicators you’re dealing with narcissistic manipulation is that you become obsessed with individuals.
You see them everywhere.
You think about them 24/7.
You cannot stop talking about them.
The world suddenly starts to resolve around them — and you have forgotten all about your own emotional needs!
Narcissism is a mental disorder in individuals who have suffered severe childhood trauma and as a result they are now playing mind games as adults, because they cannot risk getting hurt again.
Narcissists remain stuck in their inner child wounding until they do the healing work to “grow up” beyond the current level of their consciousness that otherwise directs every single one of their thoughts, emotions and actions.
When you deal with narcissists, you will not only begin to question your own emotions and behaviour: you might lose your identity altogether.
Why?
You become immersed in the shared fantasy with the narcissist, because you are both looking to “escape from reality” (a reality where severe childhood trauma is possible).
Narcissists “target” empaths.
If you’re dealing with a narcissist, you’re likely an empath.
Narcissists and empaths are like the two sides of the same coin. They have both suffered childhood trauma, but they have dealt with it in two different ways.
The narcissists makes it their mission to never ever “get abandoned, rejected or neglected” because that’s what happened to them in childhood.
The empaths make it their mission to never ever “get someone else abandoned, rejected or neglected” because that’s what happened to them in childhood.
Essentially, narcissists and empaths have had similar childhood trauma experiences, but the narcissists have chosen to continue to demand love and attention as the “child” that never got them, while the empaths have chosen to make up for the love and attention that was never given to them by being the “parent” that will selflessly give and give and give…
2. YOU'RE "WALKING ON EGGSHELLS" AROUND SOMEONE
What does it mean to be “walking on eggshells”?
You don’t feel safe enough to express your true feelings and thoughts, even if someone’s actions are hurting you.
If you find yourself “walking on eggshells” around individuals (friends, family, colleagues, etc), then you have entered a toxic relationship with them.
Narcissism is a condition developed as a result from the childhood trauma we have all experienced: yes, this includes your parents, too!
If you are dealing with a narcissist, you might have felt the pressure to be:
perfect
“good girl” or “good boy”
obedient
non-problematic
fine (no other emotions allowed)
quiet
When someone conditions you to “walk on eggshells” around them, they are 100% performing manipulation tactics to make sure you act in a specific way that benefits them — meanwhile, you lose your authentic self and the freedom of your true, authentic self-expression.
This is why you might “feel lost and confused” once you leave toxic relationships.
Essentially, you had to become a different person for the duration of your interactions with people who have narcissistic tendencies, because you never had the freedom to be yourself: you became a version of yourself that could put up with the toxic behaviour in order to “survive”.
If you were born into a narcissistic family, you pretty much weren’t allowed to have you own personality or express your authenticity.
You can see how some people would continue to repeat the toxic patterns of behaviour throughout their entire life, since they never had a “role model” to teach them how to be comfortable expressing their own emotions and individuality: instead, people around them told them to “shut up and deal with it, that’s just how it goes”.
The good news is that Earth’s a school and we all volunteered to be here. The fact that you’re realising that you’ve been exposed to narcissism is the starting point of YOU BREAKING THE CYCLE OF NARCISSISTIC ABUSE for the future generations in your family!
3. YOU "NEED TO EXPLAIN" YOUR LIFESTYLE CHOICES
The third clear sign that you’re dealing with someone who has manipulative intentions is that you feel the need to constantly explain your actions and choices.
This form of manipulation is also known as “gaslighting”.
Gaslighting is once again a technique used when you have been “targeted” as suitable to be on the receiving end for mind games.
People who are emotionally unstable or who lack emotional intelligence will target individuals who are sensitive and kind-hearted, because that makes them “gullible” in their eyes (also known as “easy targets”).
Gaslighting has actually increased in popularity among friendship groups who remain in the “high school mindset” even in their adult years by labelling themselves as the “cool kids” versus the “odd individuals” — the nerd, the Beauty, the Beast, the geek, you name it!
This is why you might find yourself invited into a friendship group only to realise later on that they befriended you just to have fun watching you lose your sanity.
People who use gaslighting as an emotional manipulation tactic are jealous of the attention, love and support others receive. They gaslight individuals to make them seem “less worthy” of love and praise in the eyes of others by creating illusions, confusion and doubt in the targetted individual’s life.
Yes, gaslighting is a form of narcissistic abuse.
THE NARCISSISM + EMPATHY DUALITY
Remember that narcissism and empathy are the two sides of the same coin. It’s a package deal, or rather, a package life lesson!
If you keep attracting narcissistic relationships, this is the Universe trying to tell you that you need to become more self-reliant and learn the lesson of independence.
The “Narcissism + Empathy” combo is just another lesson in the School of Life.
Yes, narcissism has been created from childhood trauma, but does that mean that we should normalise it? No.
We are all here to learn how to “grow out of it” by essentially growing up and learning to love ourselves to the point where we no longer want to inflict pain on others by playing mind games “just for the fun of it”.
Narcissists are suffering from the “Peter Pan syndrome” (MK Ultra Programming + Monarch Mind Control Programming). They might look like adults, but on the inside they are still the wounded children that simply cannot grow up.
Narcissists view all relationships as games, which is why they love to play mind games — their consciousness hasn’t evolved to the level of maturity required to be an adult who looks after others and treats others with respect.
Narcissists lack the maturity, the understanding, the ability to love — most of all, themselves.
